Looking For Love
by: Mama Danley
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Bow Wow has Ciara; Janet Jackson has Jermaine Dupri; Nelly has Ashante; Beyonce has Jay-Z, and Whitney has Bobby. Everybody wants somebody to love them! We want love from our family, our friends, but we really want love from that person that we have special feelings for…that cute girl or fine guy that has the prettiest smile we’ve ever seen…the one that is so cool and funny that we laugh every time we talk to them…the one that’s so fashionable and fly that we want everybody to see us with them…the one that likes to give us gifts and do nice things for us…I could go on and on, but you know who is special to you and only you can choose the one that you want to love you. |
How do you decide who it is you want to love you? Some of us want to be loved so badly that we will let anybody love us. “What’s wrong with that?” you might ask. Well, what’s wrong with it is that love doesn’t mean the same thing to everybody.
To some people love is giving; to others it is taking. To some, it’s laughter; to others, it’s tears. To some, it’s joy; to others, it’s pain. To some, it’s freedom; to others, it’s bondage. To some, it’s gentleness; to others, it’s abuse. To some, it’s THUG love; to others, it’s God’s love. So, before you let anybody love you, you need to know what loves means to you.
Everybody wants somebody to love them.
In order to find out what loves means to you, you must learn to know and love yourself first. What really makes you happy? What do you want out of life? What are your strengths and weakness? What are your likes and dislikes? What kind of personality do you have? How do you handle difficult situations? What do you like about yourself? What do you want to change about yourself? How much pressure can you handle? What kind of people do you want in your life? How do you want people to treat you? When you come to know yourself and what you want out of life and people in your life, you will recognize the kind of person that you want to love you. And if someone volunteers to love you that does not know him/herself and their meaning of love is different from yours, you can choose not to allow their love into your life because it is not the kind of love you are looking for.
You must learn to know and love yourself first!
Even God gave us a choice. He volunteered to love us, but we had to choose to be loved by Him. God’s love for His people is the best example of love. God knows that we are not perfect people and that we make mistakes, but he loves us anyway. He shows us kindness; He encourages us, and He helps us to grow and become better people, so that we can live out the purpose that He has ordained for our lives. We need to be loved by people whose love for us is like God’s love for us.
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About the Author
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Charita D. Danley was born and raised in Greenville, Mississippi, the heart of the
Delta. When she was a tender 3 years old, her family recognized her love for words
when they found her sitting and reading the local newspaper. She was in no way
distracted by the upside down print. As she grew older and began to read, her parents
encouraged her penchant for reading by listening attentively as she read to them,
enrolling her in summer programs at the local library, and providing her with her very
own subscription to Ebony Junior. As a result, books and reading materials became
her most treasured possessions. |
In 1990, she graduated from Tougaloo with a B.A. in English. She pursued
graduate studies at Louisiana State University in Baton Rouge, where in 1995, she
earned a M.A. in English Rhetoric and Composition and Technical Writing. After
completing the Master’s, she began her high school teaching career in Greenville, and
later moved to the Atlanta area. While teaching, she continued her education, earning
a Ph.D. in English Rhetoric Composition and Linguistics in 2003 from Georgia State
University.
As a resident of Atlanta, Charrita began work on her first
novel, Through the Crack, which she self-published in 2004
through her company, Chideria Publishing, Inc. Set in the
South, the novel explores a family’s journey from addiction
to recovery, exposing the physical, mental, and emotional
struggles experienced along the way.
A proponent of effective communication, Dr. Danley is also the founder of
DANLEY Writing Consultants, an organization that provides writing and editorial
services that develop clients’ concepts and ideas into well-written products. In addition,
she teaches college writing courses and conducts presentations, workshops, and
seminars related to writing, linguistics and language arts education.
Dr. Danley also writes poetry and various types of non-fiction materials. She is a
member of many professional and educational organizations. For more information,
please visit www.danleywriting.com and
www.chideria-publishing.com.
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